Play Chess with Friends: Pass and Play, Online Challenges and Two-Player Setups
Most people's best chess memories involve someone they know. Random online matchmaking is efficient, but a game against a friend, a sibling or a colleague has a texture that anonymous pairing never quite reproduces — the running score, the rematch demanded immediately, the opening someone has been quietly preparing for a fortnight. Playing with people you know also removes the pressure of a rating, which is precisely what makes it the best format for beginners. This article covers every practical way two people can get a game: across a physical board, sharing one device, connecting from opposite ends of the country, or playing a move a day over a week.
Table of Contents
Across a Real Board
A physical board remains the best version of the game, and it is worth saying why rather than treating it as nostalgia. Pieces on a real board are seen from an angle, in three dimensions, which forces genuine spatial understanding instead of pattern-matching a flat screen. There is no legal-move highlighting to lean on. Nothing prevents an illegal move, so both players learn the rules properly. And the social element — the pause, the sigh, the moment an opponent realises what has happened — is the part people actually remember.
Equipment need not be elaborate. A roll-up vinyl board with weighted plastic pieces is inexpensive, packs flat, and is what nearly every tournament in the country uses. The standard size has squares of about 55mm with a king around 95mm tall. A clock is optional for casual games but transforms them once both players are comfortable with the rules, because it eliminates the person who takes four minutes over every move.
One convention worth adopting early is touch-move: a touched piece must be moved if a legal move exists, and a released piece stays where it landed. It feels harsh at first and it sharpens decision-making dramatically, because it forces players to finish calculating before reaching for anything.
Pass and Play on a Single Device
Pass-and-play mode turns one phone or tablet into a shared board — each player moves in turn and hands the device across. It is the simplest possible way for two people in the same room to get a game with no equipment at all, and it solves the specific problem of wanting to play on a train, in a café, or in a waiting room.
The practical advantages are real. The device enforces legal moves, which removes rules arguments entirely — a considerable benefit when one player is still learning. It keeps the score, offers takebacks by mutual agreement, and can flip the board automatically so each player views the position from their own side. Most implementations also include a clock.
The drawbacks are equally real. A phone screen is small for two people, the board is flat rather than three-dimensional, and passing a device back and forth is clumsier than reaching across a table. Where the mode genuinely shines is teaching, because the software rejects illegal moves without anyone needing to correct anyone else — which matters more than it sounds when the learner is a partner, a parent or a child. The teaching sequence in the chess for kids article works well in this format for exactly that reason.
Online Challenges and Friend Links
Playing someone in another city works through one of two mechanisms. The first is a friend list: add each other's usernames, then send a direct challenge specifying colour and time control. The second is a challenge link — the platform generates a URL, one player sends it by message, and whoever opens it joins the game. Link-based challenges usually need no account from the person receiving them, which makes them the fastest way to start a game with someone who does not play regularly.
Two settings are worth checking before starting. Friendly games can normally be marked unrated, which keeps the result off both players' records and takes the tension out of a casual match. And takebacks can be enabled, which is appropriate for a relaxed game between friends of different strengths and inappropriate for anything competitive.
Most people find friend games more enjoyable than random pairings but slower to arrange, since both players have to be free at the same time. A common compromise is a standing arrangement — a regular evening, or a rolling correspondence game that runs in the background. Anyone who also wants opponents available on demand between those sessions will find the matchmaking side covered in our article on playing chess online. Mixing the two works well: friend games for enjoyment, rated games against strangers for measurable progress, and a habit of playing at least a few times a week is what makes either worthwhile. Players who want both in one place can play chess against friends and random opponents through the same account.
Correspondence Games
Correspondence chess — one move every day or two — is the format most likely to survive contact with adult life. Nobody has to be free at the same time. A move gets made on the commute, another after dinner, and a game unfolds across a fortnight without ever requiring a scheduled hour.
The chess is usually better, too. With a day to think, both players actually calculate rather than guess, and the resulting games are frequently the strongest either of them plays. Several games can run simultaneously against different friends without any of them demanding attention at once.
Two things need agreeing up front. The first is whether analysis assistance is allowed — in correspondence tradition, moving pieces on a second board to check variations is entirely normal, while engine consultation is cheating everywhere. The second is pace: a game where one player moves ten times a day and the other twice a week satisfies nobody, so a rough expectation set at the start prevents quiet resentment later.
Picking a Time Control for Friendly Games
The clock setting shapes a friendly game more than the choice of opening. Matching it to the situation avoids most of the frustration that ends casual chess sessions early.
| Setting | Suggested control | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Teaching a beginner | No clock at all | Time pressure destroys learning. Let them think. |
| Casual evening, similar strength | 10+5 or 15+10 | Long enough for real chess, short enough for several games. |
| Quick session, limited time | 5+3 | Four or five games in under an hour. |
| Serious match between friends | 25+10 | Proper calculation, tournament-like conditions. |
| Playing around a busy week | 1 to 2 days per move | No scheduling required at all. |
The most common mistake is playing blitz with someone still learning. Speed formats punish uncertainty, and a beginner losing six games in twelve minutes will conclude that chess is not for them. Slow the clock right down until both players are comfortable, then speed it up gradually.
Handling a Big Strength Gap
The single biggest threat to chess between friends is a lopsided score. If one player wins twenty games in a row, the other stops accepting invitations — and the usual fix, quietly playing badly, is worse than the problem, because it is transparent and mildly insulting.
Material odds solve it properly. The stronger player removes a piece before the game starts: a knight for a modest gap, a rook for a large one, a queen for an enormous one. Both sides then play at full strength, and the result means something. The stronger player learns conversion technique under pressure; the weaker player gets a genuinely winnable position and a real win when it comes. The same mechanism is used against engines, as described in our write-up on playing against the computer.
Time odds are the other approach and work particularly well online: ten minutes against three, or fifteen against five. The stronger player must move quickly and accurately while the weaker one gets time to think properly. Combining both — a knight down and half the clock — evens out almost any gap. What matters is adjusting the handicap until the score sits near even, then leaving it alone rather than renegotiating after every result.
Variants Worth Trying
Variants reset the balance between players of different strength, because nobody's accumulated knowledge applies. They are also simply good fun on an evening where standard chess feels stale.
- Chess960. The back rank is shuffled randomly, identically for both players. All opening preparation becomes worthless, and both sides think for themselves from move one.
- King of the Hill. Walking your king to one of the four central squares wins immediately. Produces wildly aggressive games.
- Three-check. Checking the opponent three times wins. Rewards sharp attacking play and heavily punishes a loose king.
- Bughouse. Four players on two boards in teams — captured pieces get passed to a partner, who can drop them onto their own board. Chaotic, loud and the best party format in chess.
- Crazyhouse. The two-player version of the same idea: captured pieces switch sides and can be dropped back onto the board.
Chess960 in particular is worth trying with anyone who has stopped enjoying standard chess. Removing memorised openings from the equation restores the feeling of working things out from scratch, and it is a fully respectable format with its own world championship.
Running a Small Tournament
Once a group of four or more play regularly, a structured event adds a lot. The simplest format is an all-play-all: everyone plays everyone once, one point for a win and half for a draw. Six players produces fifteen games, which fits comfortably into an afternoon at fifteen minutes per side.
For larger groups, a Swiss system works better — players are paired each round against someone on a similar score, so nobody is eliminated and games stay competitive throughout. Five rounds handles twenty players in a single session. Free pairing software exists for both formats, though a sheet of paper does the job for a group of friends.
A knockout is the wrong choice for a casual group, since half the participants have nothing to do after one game. If a knockout is used anyway, a consolation bracket keeps everyone playing. Whatever the format, agreeing the time control and the tie-break rule before the first move saves an argument at the end.
Keeping Friendly Games Friendly
A few conventions keep regular chess between friends sustainable. Agree in advance whether takebacks are allowed, rather than negotiating mid-game after a blunder. Avoid the post-game lecture unless it is invited — explaining at length why an opponent's move was bad is the fastest way to end a chess friendship. Offer the rematch, especially after winning. And keep the running score light, or don't keep one at all.
The last point matters most for anyone teaching someone else. A new player needs to win occasionally to stay interested, which is what odds games are for, and needs to lose without being made to feel foolish. Handled with a bit of care, a chess habit between two people can run for decades and survive several house moves. The easiest way to keep it going is a standing arrangement rather than an ad-hoc one — a fixed evening, or a permanent correspondence game that quietly ticks along in the background. Anyone whose friends have drifted off will still find opponents of similar strength waiting to play chess at any hour, and the rules refresher in the article on how to play chess is a useful thing to send to someone who has not touched a board since school.
More articles in this series, along with the casino coverage the site is better known for, are collected on the Clover Casino homepage.